I’m Such a Loser!!!
God I’m such a pathetic loser! I caved in before he even ran after me…if he was even going to run after me. I spent an entire day waiting and hoping and refraining from contact and what did I do about 5 minutes ago? I messaged him.
I tried to remember everything mean and nasty he’s done and said and they’re all vivid in my mind but so are the smiles and laughs and love in his eyes and I can’t seem to push those away.
So like the fucking loser I am I messaged and now I’m sitting hoping for a “I’m sorry too” that I’ll never get and “no I don’t want it to be over again.” I left the door open to him ending things, “If you do want it to be over I understand.”
I’m such a loser and I disappoint everyone. I’m pretty sure when Stevie reads this she’s going to roll her eyes and wrestle with herself trying not to call and ask, “when are you going to stop doing this to yourself?!?!?” Olivia is going to just straight out tell me I’m crazy.
I’m such a loser!
Nah. Go easy on yourself.
thanks. I have to wonder how much of my pathetic ramblings you’ve read, lol. If you have you’ll probably change your mind about my patheticness
but thanks
I’ve read a lot of your posts actually and while I agree that your life poses many challenges right now, it’s possible that you are not keeping in mind your victories.
I do this. I dwell on what I haven’t done and what I can’t do and for some reason I diminish the value of anything positive.
So until we understand the root of that problem, whenever possible on days when we can think of it, or a even when a stranger reminds us, we should go easy on ourselves and remind ourselves of our victories.
wow you’re glutton for punishment…or maybe my life is worse than yours, haha.
I think I understands the “root” of some of my problems and am to afraid to change things.
I still sucks, lol.